Growth in the world wide web
I created this website on October 2022 after the roughest moment of my life. I had a few notions of CSS and HTML but it was overall very rudimentary and messy, so when I found out about the "indie web", I vomited code all over the default editor without even thinking about what was going on or how it was going to affect me in the future if it were to become a long term project (it did).
Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't remember how I found out about this place exactly, in fact, I barely remember my life before this site, even though it was created not even 4 years ago. Some things always linger, though, as you'll see soon. At the time I was obsessed with the Wayback Machine, and, reminiscing the websites I remember checking out in my dad's laptop almost two decades ago (happier times, warm and careless), I decided that I wanted this place to be a homage to him, a "thank you" if you will, for introducing me to the world of wires, modems and blogs.
So I had the idea, now I just had to execute it. A 90s like static website where I could share graphics and pixels from my favorite animes and videogames, space inspired and with a lot of gifs and stars and sparkles and pretty much everything I'd find out there. I had been into web design in the past, actually, I had started working on it since I was like... six? Probably? My parents, although I love them with all my heart and did a damn good job raising me, were not the best when it came to monitoring my internet activity, and actually encouraged me to create my first blog with the objective of uploading my homework in there and sharing it with the rest of the class. After that, my stay on the Internet evolved into personal blogs, some of them shared with IRL friends, others had a specific purpose (I remember we made one to share teenage magazine like tests), but all of them were carefully curated by me. I would create an aesthetic, commit to it, fill the whole site with different content and tween rantings that nobody should've read, if we're being honest.
But enough about my netizen past, I actually plan on writing a different entry talking about my journey on the Internet, and how my exposure to it since I was a little kid has smoothed my brain to the point where it actually feels amazing. I wanted to write this because I came across an older version of YSOC, my beautiful baby that once had so much going on before I decided to wipe all the cringe content 2022 me had uploaded (as I said in the beginning, I was going through it). A few months ago I decided that this site, although a very nice reference to my early years on the internet and those times where I would jump into my dad's computer as soon as he left it alone, did not represent who I was anymore. It didn't feel like me. It was probably too cliche-y, I think, and whoever stumbled upon it would've thought that I was nostalgiamining the shit out of this platform (such many cases). I do like the old web, I miss it, even, but there's a purpose behind YSOC, and it's not only looking "Y2K" (whatever that means at this point) and having an About Me page and a bunch of fake links.
As I was finishing the development of my frontal lobe (2022 me was not real me, I don't know who that was), I thought a lot about the purpose of this place. "Purpose", such a scary word for me. I started sharing videogame reviews, interesting links, random texts in choppy English, photos from my phone gallery with dumb captions... But there wasn't a specific purpose, rather just a hunger for sharing, archiving and self-expression. And when my tastes shifted a bit and the delusions left my recently functional brain, I realized that the purpose had always been there. That's why two months ago I decided to revamp the page, changed the look to fit my real me a little bit more (not 2022 me), removed a lot of embarrassing stuff that I had laying around, and focused on creating. And I didn't only evolve as an Internet entity, but also as a real person, I even bought a journal! I barely remembered how to hold a pen and I bought a journal! And a fucking fountain pen!
This sounds corny, but I feel like I found one of many purposes for this spaghetti coded mess that I always come back to, and it's having a place that grows with me, something that I can look back to and nod and lowkey cringe. YSOC has been with me on my transition from teenage to adulthood, and now that I'm finally discovering who I am, it feels great to know that I'll see it reflected in the lines of code at some point.